Friday, May 30, 2008

quite saddening.
when you dont know someone, and you judge someone with your emotions.
its very wrong. and really too much.


all i know is that i love to see him, i love to be with him.
he makes me very happy (even just seeing him), and well taken care of.
and whatever happens (even negatively), i will not go back.
because he didnt change any fact about how i feel.


i was just a fool. i was wrong.
i dragged, when i dont love that person.
that person was too good to me, but i just dont feel that kind of happiness.


that person:
good looking (big eyes).
cute and boyish (but too emotional). everybody said he wants to aim my weakness?
simple life, so sometimes no go out. :(
very funny because he isnt afraid of losing face.
noisy, and too naggy.
caring but quite possessive. WHY read my messages?
a bit stingy.
not sociable with others.
hurt me with brainless words.
never know when or why im sad/angry.


only that person dont understand.
it is really none of his fault/business. even some know.
that person's actions and words scare me away further.
no matter how i tired i was, i give in to that person..listening to what he wishes to say out until 4 in the morning.
but really, i dont even know if i should be even talking to him.
sometimes i really dont feel like talking to him.
because all he talks about are about the past.
and always asking about whats my progression with my boyfriend.
its really weird for me, and hard for me to tell him.
i dont want to hurt him, plus its really not of his business to know.


really dont know what to do with that person.

i face myself..to cross out what ive become.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

What ALICIA Means:

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.
You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.
A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

i face myself..to cross out what ive become.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

ive learnt so much of myself. how?
sometimes you need someone to tell you about you.
because you cant see yourself, while others could.


always known my negative traits. i know myself.
i know what ive done. i regret, guilt.
could never agreed more if you ever say about me.
i face it, i accept. but i continue, unchanged.
bad news: whats the cure? time?
males, they could never understand females.


my heart is small. cramped.
causes me to be possessive in fact.
im sensitive and petty, but i know you never do wrong.


my heart is small. so small.
that i couldnt give myself a chance.
you know, you have to forgive yourself before forgiving others.
i have to open myself, to accept others.
but i couldnt. i always choose to flee and shut the door.
i couldnt say the importants from my heart. only the opposites.
maybe its meant to be kept, or its whispering that nobody hears.


my heart is so fragile. cant mend back.
i couldnt trust those who have hurted me.
could never erase the fact how the person is like to me.


my heart is so bottled up. misery, anger.
blog is my only way out.
i vent, i spam. my thoughts, my feelings.
and i dont feel anything anymore. such a wonder.
looking back only find my words are craps.
but i am still prone to depression. now and then.
unstable. no appetite. cry. die?
smile. stable.


learnt: i am a feeling person.
i go according to how i feel.
and i feel for others.


people around me, dont you find yourself childish?
disrespectful? doesnt think for others?
doesnt care about others' feelings? want to hurt them?
even dont know what you have done? to cause misery to others?
why people around me like that?


lucky i always stand on my own.
believe myself. believe my values.
why should i get pulled down?
you are not worthy for anything.


never understand why friend can be so 2-faced.
insult others with friends, pity the same others with me.
peer pressure, dont want to get boycotted?
life is unfair. you will never be boycotted, my friend.
you say stupid things, nothing happen.
i say stupid things, i get mocked on.


hey you are blind.
i will be with you. until you have matured.
learnt and realised. until you leave me.
know more people. until you found someone.

i face myself..to cross out what ive become.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

"short term pain is better than long term pain"
"i can understand how you feel"
"you should tell him"
"couples should be happy together"
"shouldnt make you cry"
"not half happy half sad"
"find a new boyfriend"


i can list down all the advices i always hear.
but i cant heed those advices.


i actually wish for someone who can go the extra mile with me.

i face myself..to cross out what ive become.

Friday, June 01, 2007

wish i could have someone who..


can make me happy.
understands my feelings.
know how i feel.
listens to my problems when i want to share.
motivates me.


where are you now?

i face myself..to cross out what ive become.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

feel as if my soul has darkened, i have no form of life within. i just want to not give a care about a thing. couldnt cry anymore even if i felt like it, even so badly i needed to, i used to. maybe if i cry out, my heart will soften myself.


now how i feel is like..
i want to see my life in black and white.
i want to not hear you even when you scream and shout.
i want to slit myself and realise how good it may feel.
i want to say bye and walk away to all my friends whom i meet.
i want to kill everybody..no just kidding, just myself will do.
i want to run away and renew my life so everybody will forget me, dont know me.


as the saying goes, "mothers are always right" because she is your mother. sometimes i do feel it true. my mother always tell me to have relationship after schooling, when im out to work. yeah i want my boyfriend to be fat on the tummy and tall.


nah, im just the kind of sensitive girlfriend. i want my boyfriend be with me all the time. go out together, with his friends or my friends or dates.. when at home, chat or play games online together or stay at each others' places.. but seriously, how many teenage guys is willing to sacrifice himself just to accompany his girl? so far, i only knew one guy who liked that. but he was too protective after one date, kept asking me what i was doing, and to call him all the time. finally one day told him the truth that he was spamming, but i said he was irritating in chinese (fan). i thought he would be less irritating or more to normal, guess he couldnt take it or took the word seriously, he said he wont irritate me ever again and was a goner. lets say found a boyfriend at work. together work, together go pub slack after work, or even go home together then chat at home. probably thats the way. fat hope!

i face myself..to cross out what ive become.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Does your name begin with: A
U are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action.You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get.You have no patience for flirting and can't be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing. You are an up-front person. You often don't get hints & you ever pass any. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is! intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated. Your mate's physical attractiveness is important for you. You tend to be very Practical, & not very emotional Your choices are very good & can only lead to trouble. You are very self satisfied & egoistic.


Does your name begin with: L
You can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a partner is of paramount importance to you. You are free in your expression of love and are willing to take chances, try new sexual experiences and partners, provided it's all in good taste. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated. "You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated ".


DECEMBER
Loyal and generous
Patriotic
Active in games and interactions
Impatient and hasty
Ambitious
Influential in organizations
Loves to socialize
Loves praises
Loves attention
Loves to be loved
Honest and trustworthy
Not pretending
Short tempered and egoistic
Takes high pride in oneself
Hates restrictions
Loves to joke
Good sense of humor
Logical


Sagittarius

Turn ons

Sagittarius is basically a happy go lucky kind. You can enjoy with their zest and enthusiasm in life. They can bubble with excitement that can be tangible at times. And if you share same interests and hobbies then life can be great fun together. They are frank and straightforward so if you want some truthful opinion about anything or anyone goes to them. Be optimistic as they are and view life as glass half full.

Turn offs

Sagittarius is fiercely independent and cannot tolerate restriction hence do not try to hold them back in life. Let them enjoy their freedom because if you hold any special place in their heart they will always come back for you. Do not feel irritated by the exaggeration in their speech. They may go on and on talking about certain things that may not even interest you but it is their way of trying to communicate with you. They are basically frank and outspoken (to the point of being rude) so do not feel offended by their talks.

i face myself..to cross out what ive become.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

YOU AND THE SAGITTARIUS WOMAN

Like all fire sign women (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) she is at her most vibrant when she is in love. She is drawn to the excitement, passion, and sheer adventure of romance. Her attitude toward life is enthusiastic and positive, and being in love intensifies these glowing feelings. Where another woman might walk around in a dreamlike haze, a Sagittarius woman in love positively radiates happiness and energy.

Sagittarius is also the sign of mental exploration. To her, love is not just passion but a challenge. This free spirit finds domesticity boring. She is the perfect playmate but only as long as she finds the game worth playing. She is not one to make the best of a bad bargain. If she is unhappy, she won't resign her self or compromise or try to work things out. She'll just walk out.

She can't take love as seriously as other women do. It's part of life to her, not the end or the beginning. If she finds a man who's a real companion, who shares her pleasure in sports and the outdoor life, who likes to travel and hates to be tied down to any one place, then love is a wonderful extra added attraction.
She doesn't always perceive the consequences of romantic entanglements. To her, life means moving forward into the future, and each new love is a learning experience. She doesn't take into account that when a romance is over it may leave behind a trail of wounded feelings. If an old lover harbors resentment, she is genuinely surprised.

She likes men, and enjoys the flirtations and maneuvers of a developing affair. In turn, men like her charming, easygoing manner and her acceptance of what the world is like. Other women may prefer the straight and narrow paths, but Sagittarius can't help wandering over to the primrose path to pluck whatever blooms strike her fancy. When she does find her big romance, however, this is a woman who believes in loyalty to her man. She is a romantic who will marry for love's sake rather than for money or social position.

A sense of humor is one of her nicest traits, and she isn't interested in a man who lacks a sense of fun. She doesn't welcome tempestuous, heavy-breathing relationships, that put her through an emotional wringer. what she looks for is a lover who can share her sense of adventure. She prefers men who are intellectually stimulating, well read, and well traveled.

Basically, Sagittarius woman enjoys life and tries to make sure everyone around her enjoys it too. When this clever, amusing, optimistic, high-spirited woman finally settles down with some lucky man, she'll be the most delightful companion he can hope to find.

HOW TO ATTRACT SAGITTARIUS

You won't have trouble striking up a conversation. Sagittarians are interested in almost anything. When they've talked themselves out on their favorite subjects, they'll decide you're a fascinating conversationalist!
Ask about their work, their friends, books they have read, and their reactions to a current news event. If you happen to like animals or outdoor sports, you are already halfway home with a Sagittarian.

There is a fine line between taking an interest in their interests and prying. Don't overstep the boundary. Sagittarians are very wary of anyone who might be trying to corner them. If talking about generalities gives you the feeling that you're sliding rapidly over ice, don't worry. Matters will improve on better acquaintance. You may discover, in fact, that your problem is trying to ignore the direct, sometimes, overly frank inquiries that Sagittarians will make. When they get to know you, they like you to share confidences with them or ask for their advice.

Sagittarians like outdoor dates: dancing under the stars, open-air concerts, picnics at the beach, skiing or sailing outings. They usually avoid large parties or too-close quarters because they cannot bear to be hedged in or confined. Never infringe on their freedom. Never let your emotional needs intrude on their private lives. And you'd be wise not to put too much stock in their promises. Their words are writ on water.

Enjoy being with Sagittarius but don't think you've signed a lifelong contract, because Sagittarius doesn't think so. And don't look back with regret when it's over. Sagittarius won't.

SAGITTARIUS'S AMOROUS COMBINATIONS

SAGITTARIUS AND ARIES Both share a similar approach to sex (they make the most of every opportunity). Add to this a mutual love of the outdoors and a fondness for socializing, and you can see why they get along. They're also intellectually well suited: Both have a wide range of interests and love to talk about them. Sagittarius is more philosophical about problems than Aries, who becomes more personally involved. The one question mark is their combustible temper. Arguments are heated but short-lived—and the making up with be fun. A perfect match.

SAGITTARIUS AND TAURUS Taurus wants to run things, but Sagittarius won't be controlled. Sagittarius needs change, variety, and adventure. That proves irritating to steady, disciplined, home-loving Taurus. Taurus approves of tried-and-true ways of doing things but Sagittarius will try anything. Blunt Sagittarius will say what it thinks at the drop of a hat, and that brings Taurus's temper to a slow simmer. There are also money problems, since Sagittarius gambles today while Taurus hoards for tomorrow. A short future for this pair.

SAGITTARIUS AND GEMINI They're both restless, adventuresome, imaginative, and fun loving. No other opposite signs in the zodiac enjoy each other more than these two. There'll be shooting stars in the bedroom for a while, but when the fireworks fizzle the bickering begins. Both have bright minds, but Sagittarius is outspoken and bossy, while Gemini likes to poke verbal fun. Too rootless and discontent to settle down, they eventually both succumb to the siren call of other interests, other loves. But parting should be amicable.

SAGITTARIUS AND CANCER Cancer's sensuality and romantic imagination intrigues inquiring Sagittarius. But Sagittarius is both venturesome and cerebral while Cancer is cautious and emotional, and this pair will never understand each other. Sagittarius can't supply the security and stability Cancer needs or endure Cancer's moodiness and jealousy. Without even being aware of it, blunt Sagittarius wounds sensitive Cancer at every turn. When Sagittarius seeks outside stimulation away from home, Cancer nags and whines and tries to hold on tighter. They'd be better as just friends.

SAGITTARIUS AND LEO There are exciting times ahead for this ardent pair. Self-confident Leo holds the key to unlocking Sagittarius's deeper passions, and their love life is an adventure. They also enjoy travel, meeting new people, and each other's company. Leo loves freedom as much as Sagittarius so there won't be problems with jealousy or possessiveness. Sagittarius has the lightness of touch necessary to cope with Leo's monumental ego. A grand mating.

SAGITTARIUS AND VIRGO Shy, reticent Virgo can't take the initiative, which makes Sagittarius think Virgo is prudish. Both have intellectual leanings so they may end up having some interesting conversations in bed. Elsewhere, Virgo looks for order and simplicity whereas Sagittarius looks for excitement and new experiences. Virgo wants a long term commitment; Sagittarius has to be free to roam. Sagittarius's slapdash ways irritate meticulous Virgo. When Virgo carps and criticizes this is sometimes a way of showing it cares, but Sagittarius will never understand that. Little bodes well in this affair.

SAGITTARIUS AND LIBRA Sagittarius is charmed by Libra's artistic, elegant, easygoing nature, and Libra is fascinated by Sagittarius's lust for adventure. Libra is more romantic than Sagittarius; otherwise the sexual harmony is delightful. Libra casts a tolerant eye on Sagittarius's frolicking, and may even slow down Sagittarius's pace, for Libra knows how to turn on sensual charm. Libra loves home and luxury, and Sagittarius prefers the outdoor life. But Librans are artists at working out such problems.

SAGITTARIUS AND SCORPIO Scorpio tries to clip Sagittarius's wings and keep it in a cage. Brooding, pent-up Scorpio just can't deal with open, ebullient, outspoken Sagittarius. Sagittarius's far-roaming interests constantly make Scorpio jealous. Romantically, this is a volatile combination. Sagittarius is playful about sex and finds Scorpio's intense, dominating passions too much to cope with. Soon Sagittarius's inclination is to fly. Sagittarius is also quick-tempered and cools quickly, while Scorpio's anger seethes until it erupts in fury. A temperamental, difficult union.

SAGITTARIUS AND SAGITTARIUS Some astrologers believe the only fit mate for a Sagittarian is another Sagittarian. They do seem perfectly suited: two independent, freedom-loving roamers. But this exciting, chaotic, eventful relationship is too unpredictable to suit either of them. They have a tendency to bring out the worst in each other. Each remains uncommitted and has so many outside interests that this pair inevitably drifts apart. But they'll be good sports when the fun is over.

SAGITTARIUS AND CAPRICORN Capricorn's demands can't be satisfied by Sagittarius's flighty, lighthearted approach to love. Both have high aspirations in life but their approaches are totally different. Capricorn wants to climb to the top of the mountain; Sagittarius wants to fly over the top. Sagittarius's frank outspoken nature is sure to rifle Capricorn's sensibilities. Capricorn is restrictive, a loner, known for its dour outlook. Sagittarius is venturesome, sociable, expansive. Capricorn is cautious with money and concerned with appearances—Sagittarius is neither. Both should look elsewhere.

SAGITTARIUS AND AQUARIUS These two share a great zest for living and a forward-looking viewpoint. Neither will try to tie down the other. Both seek to explore possibilities to the fullest, and they share an idealism about love and life. Aquarius is innovative. Sagittarius loves to experiment. there'll be imaginative fun in the bedroom, and they'll probably find out things that would surprise even Masters and Johnson. They'll like each other too. True emotional intimacy may be slower to develop—but prospects are wonderful for the long haul.

SAGITTARIUS AND PISCES Pisces is drawn to Sagittarius's life force, and Sagittarius is attracted to Pisce's spirituality. But Sagittarius needs a pal and Pisces needs a dream lover—and neither can help the other. Sagittarius's naturally buoyant spirits are anchored by Pisces's dependency and timidity. Highly emotional Pisces is looking for more than an occasional sex partner, and restless, freedom-loving Sagittarius is looking for nothing else but. Bedroom high jinks keeps things going for a while, but this affair slowly sinks into a quagmire.

i face myself..to cross out what ive become.

Dominant Keyword: I SEE.

Lucky Day: Thursday

Lucky Numbers: 6 and 7

Birthstone: Turquoise

Color(s): Purple

Metal: Tin

Your most likeable trait: OPTIMISM

Ruled by Jupiter, planet of fortune, you appear to breeze through life. You are Lady Luck's companion who seems always to be in the right place at the right time. Naturally, this makes for a cheerful and ebullient disposition. You have your dark moments, but clouds roll over quickly. You are too interested in what is going to happen tomorrow to fret long about what went wrong today.

In Sagittarius, the enthusiasm of fire, the restless mutable quality, and the jovial influence of Jupiter combine to produce an expansive personality who cannot be confined. Independence is your guiding principle. You are a free, adventurous spirit who thrives on new ideas and constant change of scene, Somewhere you picked up a chronic case of wanderlust, and you have no desire to be cured. The grass is always greener someplace else, and your restless, inquiring nature requires travel, excitement, and the unconventional. Sagittarius, like its opposite sign Gemini, wants to know—but whereas Gemini's are happy to sample a new idea, Sagittarians will follow it as far as it will go. In the zodiac, Sagittarius symbolizes the search for wisdom; this is the sign of the philosopher and the explorer.

Sagittarians are hard to pin down emotionally. You don't welcome enduring, profound relationships. Sooner or later, you'll unknot the tie that binds.

Friendship, however, is a different matter. You are always willing to be a pal—and you are the nicest friend in the zodiac. Kind, openhearted, jovial, completely free of malice, you are always doing favors for others. Your way of helping doesn't put the recipient under heavy obligation. "No strings" is a guiding Sagittarian motto.
Prizing freedom, you willingly grant it to others. You don't meddle in other people's plans, interfere with what they think best for themselves, and you aren't possessive or jealous.

A sense of humor is among your most endearing traits. High-spirited and congenial, you are a gifted conversationalist, a wonderful storyteller, and a born entertainer. Writing, publishing, TV, communications are enterprises in which there are many Sagittarians. Famous Sagittarians in these fields include Noel Coward, James Thurber, Mark Twain, Garson Kanin, William Bukley, and Woody Allen.

You Jupiter-ruled people are unusually versatile and do a number of tasks well. What you lack is staying power. Before you finish with one project, you are off to meet the next challenge. One reason is that you become bored doing the same things, but another is simply that you must move on—and up.
In business you are imaginative and clever, ready to accept the new and to use it. But you perform best when there's something really important at stake. When you're down to your last chance to win, when it's now or never, you'll put everything you own on the turn of a card and redouble the stakes. You believe in your luck.
You are straightforward and honest. Your frankness makes you easy to deal with because one doesn't have to spend time figuring out the hidden significance of unspoken clues or nuances. There is no hidden significance. What you say is what you mean. Your blunt remarks are not said in spite, however, but simply because you don't know how to beat around the bush. Ironically, you are rather thin-skinned and too easily hurt by a thoughtless action or careless rebuff.

Sagittarians are among the most likeable people in the zodiac. True, you can be extravagant and wasteful, even on occasion reckless and irresponsible. True, your life is full of forgotten appointments, missed deadlines, unfinished projects. True, your emotions can be shallow and your commitments almost nonexistent. Overriding everything, though is the fact that you're fun to be with. So what if you promise the moon and everyone knows you won't deliver. You know it too. There's nothing underhanded or secretive in the way you deal. You play with all your cards on the table.

Impetuous, buoyant, charming, you hitch your wagon to the merry-go-round of life and ride it with insouciant elegance.

i face myself..to cross out what ive become.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

>---------------DECEMBER BABY ---------------
>This straight-up means ur the most good-looking
>person possible... better than all of these other
>months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive
>in everything. Active in games and interactions.
>Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in
>organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to,
>though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision,
>yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by
>kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of
>ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to
>delay. Choosy and always wants the best.
>Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to
>joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone
>always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer.
>Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding.
>Able to show character. one guy/girl kind of
>person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting
>colds. loves music. pretty/handsome. Loves to
>dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows
>emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt.
>Sensitive.

i face myself..to cross out what ive become.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

.




What does your handwriting say about YOU?


The results of your analysis say:

You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry.
You are a shy, idealistic person who does not find it easy to have relationships, especially intimate ones.
You are affectionate, passionate, expressive, and future-oriented.
You are not very reserved, impatient, self-confident and fond of action.
You enjoy life in your own way and do not depend on the opinions of others.

i face myself..to cross out what ive become.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

~~
you are so sweet, you brighten my everyday.
whenever im upset, you just cheer me up in your own way.

didnt let you know, unable to express myself well.
i hope you can see through my heart, as the feelings tell.

whenever peeps are around, you were distant from me.
but i could still see you wherever you may be.

because there was an empty space in my gloomy heart.
and you have filled it up right from the start.

no matter what may come and what may go.
i wont want to let you go, as my heart tells me so.

whether there is sunshine or whether there is rain.
happiness is whats for you, as i take away the pain.

doing my best is what i will try.
i may never know when i will cry.

so this is the poem i wrote for the only.
i hope you will like it, and this is from yours truly..
~~

i face myself..to cross out what ive become.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

because it hurts so much.. that i started to cry..

i face myself..to cross out what ive become.

Monday, May 16, 2005

oo long time never blog here ler, hehh.. really disappointed arh, i had a very very good friend.. we shared almost everything, thou sometimes i think he talk rot.. but we shared alot of things, recently found out hes not a virgin, i dont know why, very disappointed eh.. i suspect something eh, cos his ex, first love is not a virgin, then i dont like her ma.. i go tell him she looked like so shui bian, sure not virgin, he said yaa noh, that girl's good friend told him de.. but that girl's good friend is my jie, she said she dont know, but she agreed she really looked like a slut.. then i dont know leh, like he bluff me de.. then abit disappointed also cos he never told me, but abit understandable.? then just now got go meet him, feeling abit weird noh.. dont know why, hahah.. like cannot trust or what, not sure.? then alot of ahlians and ahbengs, woots.. oo got ppl want know me, i always purposely bo chap.. cos honestly mostly are ahbengs, hahah.. then got ppl want know me or what infront of this kor, he will say "go and die", heyy thanks.. =] not i want to say or what lah, recently then found out afew secrets, acouple of my friends are LV liao.. omg sia, i actually cannot imagine why ppl do such things, hahah.. and my friends looked innocent also noh, then i shared with them what i did with my ex before, they also think i looked innocent.. gosh, sometimes looks really are deceiving, and e inner self have many secret passage ways arh, hehh.. honestly, in my mind.. im a playgirl, i can like two guys one time ba, but like only, i never do anything de.. but i think ive made up my mind, yet still abit unsure.. yeah, i like a guy, only two girl friends know.. hehh, one of my girl friend got bf de said that guy i like, maybe interested in me.. cos he always seek me for help, then we oready acted like couple cos kept helping one another, and know alot of things about each other, like i know all his account(games, msn, etc) de password arh, and we chatted alot of own feelings and problems hor.. or maybe he treat me as one e hiadis.? i dont know eh, hahah.. then i think, that time when he sick, i go buy food to his house then some sort of pei him, hahah abit weird to do that eh.. gosh, hes e first one to find this blog.. if he read this, he know liao, but i dont mind ba.. then i dont know eh, sometimes i reconsider, i no confident liao.. "once biten, twice as shy" ba.? its like afraid to hurt his and my feelings noh, ayy maybe slowly ba.. i dont mind de, im contented still.. =] oo alot of my friends sick liao arh, sleep more eh, and play less ba.. take care..

i face myself..to cross out what ive become.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

oooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmggggggggggggggggggg.. dont feel like saying what im thinking at e moment.. somemore pics taken at kbox.. 22nd of April 2005






-this is me and gwyneth, mostly only we two were dancing-





-another pic, taken by me and im not very accurate-





-hahah i dont know what, maybe i was punishing them or something-





-this is what friends do behind your back, HAH sorry joking-





-my hair, i didnt want to take photo, but i dont know why its not deleted-

i face myself..to cross out what ive become.

Saturday, April 16, 2005

hello, blog blog.. so many people never blog arh, come back come back.. lalal~ i wanted to tell u, but i gave up.. hahah.. oo yaa i read magazine, omg got girl after 2 months still tell her guy she still love him and cant forget him.. i think back, hmm yes i loved him, what about now.? i really dont know, i can almost forget him liao eh.. but e memories bitter and sweet, lovely and ugly, wont be forgotten ba, and kept remembered.. oo wells, dont know who said "so much for my happy ending" to me, like quite true.. sometimes i think if we still together, how will it be like.? i dont think it will be e same after e last incident, and i truly hate changes, why should there be.. anyways let fate and destiny decide ba.. lalal~ chatted with old friends felt great, if meet up with them is even better.. hope to meet my bros one fine day arh, especially zs.. hehh, i wonder now i like that, keep having fun.. but my mind isnt really having fun, or rather my heart.. something is missing, i used to not wanting any fun.. cos i shared everything with one person, that one person whether fun anot, im still happy with him.. but arh hes all about having fun, which made me mad, i wanted seriousness at times.. anyway really, even im angry sad or what, im still worried for him sia.. girls are like that ba, oo and guys are unreasonable.. some lah.. like they expect u to do something, they dont.. haixx, hahah i also dont know why am i saying all these, such an azz, past liao noh.. hah i deco this pic, get e meaning.? ^^ heyy made it just for fun nia, nothing to do ma.. oo kept sleeping late, sometimes wake late.. my father scolded me for almost cannot see me, then come back still play computer.. my mother scolded me say i look like a vampire, pale and heavy eye bags.. hahah dont really care, im not tired i wont sleep ba.. okie this is e pic..

i face myself..to cross out what ive become.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

going to cut my hair, i dont like long hair.. cos my hair quite thick then will feel very hot.. hahah.. <3 can i hold ur hand.? =X i feeling very weak now arh, played too much never sleep well.. looked pale also, zz.. here pain there pain, then quite tired noh, but i kinda still craving for vcds and, movies eh, anybody want catch some movies with me.? hahah, i dont mind de.. hmm found out got one guy seems to have alot in common with me, quite lah, is that chemistry.? anyway saw shuai ge today, i was sitting alone waiting for my mother, she was feeding my sis in air con place, i outside drink water and have sunshine.. he came to sit same table as me, end corner of e opposite side.. he looked so decent eh, then like alone doing his things, then he leaving wore his specs, whao more shuai.. hahah~ crazy liao, then i told my mother, she also think so.. then say i go poly sure will see more shuai ge de, blah blah.. yaa now no friend there thou.. =S anybody same school as me [TP] want go school together.? hmm now requesting songs for myself, so fun sia.. nice and sad songs, hahah.. the radio, its online radio, young singaporeans be dj de, not bad quite interesting noh, hahah, all requested by me~ =S

i face myself..to cross out what ive become.

Friday, April 08, 2005

hahah, i think i really like this guy.. but i dont know if i should let him know.? like i wont have time eh, and im afraid i cant make it.. aiyo everytime i decided to say, i in e end never say you know.. seldom talk to him also [and i meant really seldom], i dont know leh, maybe its just like.. lalal~ my bro intro me this photoshop, fun sia.. can deco my pics..

i face myself..to cross out what ive become.

Friday, April 01, 2005

my new final fantasy blogskin.. hmm, got my personality things and photos~ very very few people will find this blog ba.? hey, if you ever find this, draw for me.. =X hahah, and enjoy your stay..

i face myself..to cross out what ive become.

*profile

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Low
Narcissistic:	Low
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test --

For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Alicia has no white space or margins on a typical sheet of paper. Alicia fills up every last inch on the top, right, left, and bottom. Hmmm. If this is true, then Alicia has a very aggressive personality toward others and quite frankly lacks a bit of respect for the space and property of other people. I would be surprised if Alicia just comes into someone's home and helps herself to a drink in the refrigerator. This can be both an obnoxious personality trait and it can be assertive and effective in getting what you want. There isn't much fear of getting in trouble here, Alicia finds plenty of reasons to break the rules and get in trouble. (Okay, perhaps when she was younger, not anymore?) Basically, people with no margins are a handful.

If the inputted data was correct Alicia also has left lots of white space on the right side of the paper. Alicia fills up the rest of the page in a normal fashion. If this is true, then Alicia has an unhealthy relationship to the past and has a fear of moving forward. The right side of the page represents the future and Alicia seems unwilling to face the fear of getting started living now and planning for the future. Alicia seems to be clinging to past events and spending lots of time thinking about what happened. It would be best to leave the past behind and move on. Stop crowding that left margin.

Alicia has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. She lets new people into her circle of friends. She uses her imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.

Alicia is constantly disappointed when trying to reach success. She works very hard, perhaps harder than most, then just before succeeding, something happens that keeps her from success. Often, Alicia changes to a second project just before the first one is finished, thus failing to complete the first project. Sometimes she changes because she feels she needs a different challenge. Alicia feels dejected. This feeling relates to her failures. This trait is very important in a working situation and in a relationship. She must be handled in a very special way to get the most work from her or to make a relationship last. Concerning this trait, personality modification is available to change her life.

Alicia is having some confusion in her physical life. She is examining the past to give her answers about some of her physical desires. She may be trying to find a balance between her philosophical beliefs and her natural physical desires. Something is also incomplete in Alicia's life. She feels frustration relating to her physical needs and desires. Somewhere in her life there is some disappointment, non-fulfillment, and interruption.

Alicia is having a lack of physical energy at the time this handwriting was written. If someone has very short and straight down lower loops (like in the y or g), this indicates this person's physical drive (activity) is compromised. Usually, this indicates the person simply isn't interested in getting too physical right now. This could be a temporary mood which often happens when the body is sick and is healing. Or, this could be a result of an emotional or physical issue that is effecting Alicia 's energy level and interest.

Alicia's true self-image is unreasonably low. She believed she wasn't a great and beautiful person. Alicia also has a fear that she might fail if she takes large risks. Therefore she resists setting her goals too high, risking failure. She doesn't have the internal confidence that frees her to take risks and chance failure. Alicia is capable of accomplishing much more than she is presently achieving. All this relates to her self-esteem. Alicia's self-concept is artificially low. Alicia will stay in a bad situation much too long... why? Because she is afraid that if she makes a change, it might get worse. It is hard for Alicia to plan too far into the future. She kind of takes things on a day to day basis. She may tell you her dreams but she is living in today, with a fear of making a change. No matter how loud she speaks, look at her actions. This is perhaps the biggest single barrier to happiness people not believing in and loving themselves. Alicia is an example of someone living with a low self-image, because their innate self-confidence was broken.

Alicia is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. She needs to visualize the end of a project before she starts. she finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said she plans everything she is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Alicia basically feels good about herself. She has a positive self-esteem which contributes to her success. She feels she has the ability to achieve anything she sets her mind to. However, she sets her goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". She has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, she will not take great risks, as they relate to her goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, her self-perception is better than average.

In reference to Alicia's mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Alicia slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project. She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Alicia can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.

Alicia is a cumulative and procedural thinker. She likes to have all the facts before making a decision. She thinks or creates much like a brick mason, stacking fact upon fact. Her thought pattern or the conclusion will not be complete until the last fact is in place. Like that brick wall, Alicia learns faster through visual demonstration than through quick verbal instructions. Once she has learned new material, and understood it, she won't forget. Alicia is a methodical thinker, therefore she is able to build things and come up with new ideas. In an argument, she often loses to rapid thinking people because she is thinking thirty minutes later about what she should have said. These people often are very booksmart, but can be out-gunned in a rapid fire verbal debate. She may learn new ideas at a slower pace than other "less detailed" people, but once she gets it, she can handle repetition. Some people hate jobs with too much repetition, she can handle it better than most.

Alicia will be candid and direct when expressing her opinion. She will tell them what she thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want her opinion, don't ask for it! Alicia will demand respect and will expect others to treat her with honor and dignity. Alicia believes in her ideas and will expect other people to also respect them. She has a lot of pride.

Alicia uses judgment to make decisions. She is ruled by her head, not her heart. She is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see her as unemotional. She does have emotions but has no need to express them. She is withdrawn into herself and enjoys being alone. The circumstances when Alicia does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets her mad enough to tell her off, she will not be sorry about it later. She puts a mark in her mind when someone angers her. She keeps track of these marks and when she hits that last mark she will let them know they have gone too far. She is ruled somewhat by self-interest. All her conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. She is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, she has poise. Alicia will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. She would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, she will show her love by the things she does rather than by the things she says. Saying "I love you" is not a needed routine because she feels her mate should already know. The only exception to this is if she has logically concluded that it is best for her mate to hear her express her love verbally. Alicia is not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to her, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of her sound judgment. She will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. She will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and she will always ask "Is this best for me?"

Alicia is moderately outgoing. She is moderate in her ability to interact socially, has a balanced ability to be social and interact with others. Her emotions are stirred by sympathy and heart rendering stories. In fact, she can be kind, friendly, affectionate and considerate of others. She has the ability to put herself into the other person's shoes. Alicia will be somewhat moody, with highs and lows. Sometimes she will be happy, the next day she might be sad. She has the unique ability to get along equally well with what psychology calls introverts and extroverts. This is because she is in between. Psychology calls Alicia an ambivert. She understands the needs of both types. Although they get along, she will not tolerate anyone that is too "far out." She doesn't sway too far one way or the other. When convincing her to buy a product or an idea, a heart rendering story could mean a great deal to her. She puts herself in the same situation as the person in the story, yet she will not buy anything that seems overly impractical or illogical. Alicia is an expressive person. She outwardly shows her emotions. She may even show traces of tears when hearing a sad story. Alicia is a "middle-of-the-roader," politically as well as logically. She weighs both sides of an issue, sits on the fence, and then will decide when she finally has to. She basically doesn't relate to any far out ideas and usually won't go to the extreme on any issue.

However, if Alicia writes tiny all of the time, she will also display characteristics of someone who is socially introverted. Alicia will often sit on the sideline and watch others get the attention at parties. she might be willing to open up and be warm, but only in small groups or a select group of people. When she is busy working on a project, it is common for all other noises and distractions to just fade away and her ability to focus is incredible. When she says she didn't hear you... really, she didn't hear you.

Sagittarius - Your Love Profile Your positive traits: Your playful nature brings out the happy inner-child in dates You're willing to take risks in love... and reap the rewards You've got a killer sense of humor that gets talking with any hottie you meet Your negative traits: Sometimes your sarcasm comes off as biting and abrasive You can be brutally honest, tactless, and truthful even when it hurts You're such a free spirit that you find it hard to commit to one person Your ideal partner: Someone high energy who will pick up and out with you whenever Is creative and fun - thinking of new adventures for the two of you Is bold... and not afraid to tell you "I love you" early on Your dating style: Unpredictable. You never know how the night is going to end up. Your seduction style: Daring. You're always pushing to try something new in the bedroom. Full of imagination. You've always got a new fantasy you're dying to try. Spritually driven. Sex for you can be an other-worldy act. Tips for the future: Realize that while freedom is great - sometimes a stable relationship is better. It's not all about you. Focus on your parnter's needs every once and a while. Make up your mind about your parnter, and stick to it. Your fickle will ruin things otherwise. Best color to attract mate: Purple Best day for a date: Thursday

You Are 50% Normal (Somewhat Normal)

While some of your behavior is quite normal... Other things you do are downright strange You've got a little of your freak going on But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

Your Inner Child Is Happy

You see life as simple, and simple is a very good thing. You're cheerful and upbeat, taking everything as it comes. And you decide not to worry, even when things look bad. You figure there's just so many great things to look forward to.

Your Ideal Relationship is Serious Dating

You're not ready to go walking down the aisle. But you may be ready in a couple of years. You prefer to date one on one, with a commitment. And while chemistry is important, so is compatibility.

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will only have one true love. You've been deeply wounded in the past, and you're still recovering from that hurt. You prefer a quirky, unique person to be your lover. You're easy going about who you're with, as long as they love you back. In fights, you are able to walk away and calm down. You are able to weather the storm. Getting over a break-up doesn't take long. Easy come, easy go.

You May Be a Bit Borderline...

Your mood swings make a roller coaster look tame! When you're up, you're a little bit crazy... And when you're down, your whole world is crashing Scary thing is, these moods can change by the minute!

Your Love Style is Agape

You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner. Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare. You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie. Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you. For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.

Your Ideal Relationship is Casual Dating

Maybe you're looking for love... But mostly you're looking for fun. You could get serious with the right person. For now, though, you're enjoying playing the field.

Never Date a Capricorn

Somber, demanding, and freakishly logical. Emotions? It's not clear that Capricorn has them. And while it may be flattering for a Capricorn to be serious about you, bad news: they expect you to be super serious in return. Instead try dating: Aquarius, Gemini, Leo, or Virgo